I joined up with an Internet dating site. Mostly because I am single and therefore curious, and not because I am specifically looking for dates. (Especially from an Internet Site).
Things which strike me thus far are:
People – of both sexes – who are into extreme / excessive amounts of outdoor sports activities, remain single. The amount of profiles on there urgently declaring a love of snow-boarding / water ski-ing / mountain climbing suggests an overwhelming tendency of those types towards singledom. Heck I can see why. What a fucking effort.
Ditto people whose profile photos feature themselves:
a) Up a mountain (in goggles and copious outdoorwear, therefore conveniently covering a multitude of physical sins, in my opinion).
b) On a sailing boat. What’s the point? Man has invented motors so one can enjoy oneself. Such pre-industrial age effort is surely obsolete. Let go of the sail and join me below deck – lighten up already!
c) On a mountain bike. In Devon (ENGLAND). In December. Pedalling up a 60% muddy incline in lycra shorts but secretly visualising the pub at the end of the journey which will offer (i) relief from physical toil; (ii) a toilet / hygiene opportunity; (iii) a drink; (iv) comfort food; (v) a mobile phone signal if you’re lucky; (vi) thus the opportunity to ring for a taxi to get back to one’s tent. Really. There is no need.
P.S. – There’s no way on Earth you will get me to share your motherfucking sweaty cold tent with you, I’ll be in the nearest 5 Star Guest House. This being modern urbane England, there will be one not too far away. Thank you very much.
I therefore draw the conclusion that people who declare an interest in extreme sports believe that this is the fastest and most efficacious way to a shag / lifetime commitment / whatever they are seeking.
I plan to up-end this futile belief by positing a life of decadence, hedonism and apathy. I will keep you posted on the results. If I can be arsed.
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